6.29.2006

worth asking

i have to remind myself that i am a married woman, yet every now and again i feel like the day may well have never happened.

sidebar: i wonder, could that work as one word...like nonetheless or nevertheless ... no hyphens "everynowandagain".

...anywhichway, i have a legal document and a ring to prove the fact of marriage and another ring as proof of my initial acceptance of the proposed marriage.

when my best friend got married, i asked her point blank, "is it for love or money?" she'd only known her husband to be for a very short time. she said, "a little bit of both." now 10 years later they're married for love and family. not a bad trade in the long run.

not one person asked me though. i'd like to believe it was because my "husband" and i exude such perfection of togetherness...no one would dare question our motive, but still, curiously no one asked, "are you sure that this is the person that you want to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life?" isn't that a reasonable question for someone to have?

i'm concerned that it's because i don't have friends that feel close enough to me to devastate my dreams of love and grandeur. most are brutally honest, but equally socially adept. would they say anything even if they thought it?

i'm dwelling, but this line of questioning really is to no end personally. had they asked, i would have answered, "i'm marrying him for love, of course. and i already imagined that, in sin, we'd only wake in different beds when we stayed over at his parent's."

still, 50% of all marriages end in divorce these days. those are tough statistics to face. though i guess it means that 50% of all marriages end in death.

that's supposedly the happy way.

3 comments:

g8s said...

You guys had doubts? Please refer to the photograph in your last post... I rest my case.

Miss Marisol said...

I have questioned the institution of marriage generally because I am specifically cynical. Knowing you and your espoused, I am constantly humbled by the fact that you are certainly the exception to my rule.

Oh, and I am way down with those compound phrases. . .everynowandagain

mad scientist said...

Just wanted to drop a note here to say hi! Fun to read your musings.....Hard to believe you are a married woman :)