the list

it’s not that i’m lazy so much, i have a complicated "to do" list, or at least a complicated compulsion to maintain my "to do" list. my friend jason will tell you, keeping up with the list is a chore in itself. these lists are contained in a blank book, where i make meticulous notations about work that i am avoiding. every few days, even if i'm not trying to accomplish something, i'll accomplish something. as i make such thorough "to do" lists, inevitably something can be crossed off. i'm ok with one or two things on the list being crossed off, but if i actually get more than three things done or have to make a change to any of the items, the list must be rewritten. my husband hates it, because the list itself is a task that requires a lot of focus. the list does not tolerate mistakes such as misspellings or poorly described tasks. and the list must fit neatly within the margins of a single handwritten numbered page. yes, i’ve tried typing it and keeping it in an electronic format. the list does not tolerate technology.

today i did my best to get some things done, but despite my efforts, i couldn’t get completely through all of the tasks that i attempted. i painted over some graffiti that some lovely person put on the wall of one of gstaad’s bathrooms, but the paint wasn’t enough to cover it and i ran out of time before i could apply another coat. so i edited the list, from "1.) paint over graffiti in second bathroom" to "finish painting over graffiti in second bathroom" also i tried to order some plates for our soon-to-be-released cheese and meats menu, "2.) order plates" but my supply company's operators, who are exceedingly friendly and helpful, did all they could for me, but in the end they couldn’t find the ones i wanted. they are going to have my rep call me. my edit: call jerry, because i know that guy will never call me. i completed task #7. i bought an electric meat slicer. it doesn’t arrive until next week. it’s crossed out. also crossed out "12.) buy stamps"

all in all not a bad day. at the end of my list, i’m writing
13.) have a glass of wine.
14.) revise list.
but not actually.
the list does not tolerate humor.